lydia's world...

Friday, April 30, 2004 Â Â Â Â Â

haha.. hahaha.... jus can't help but to realli b happy about exams r finally over. the last exams in da 3 yrs of poly life.. long awaited while i go thru da exams period bt yet i guess i gt mixed feelings. 3 yrs jus passed like tt.. feel tt time waits for no one... feel tt da so-called carefree life is gone wif d wind, lying ahead probably would be how to earn my pwn keep cope with issues like an adult.. oh no suddenly i hate growing up!!!

well... dear wasn't feelin well so went to meet him after he finish work at his place after exams on fri. d rest went for d movie dawn of the dead. wanted to catch it though but din wanted to be late in meeting him so i ended up strolling along orchard alone for like 1 1/2 hours b4 i feel so sleepy. went to take train n fell asleep all d way till jurong east.. lucky nv miss d stop! got off da train 2 realise tt d ride took onli half hr.. n it's RAINING mood spoiler. den msg him to cum meet me asap n i went to shop again.. den he msg me say he on cab cuming ask me gt him food... ha... finally reach his house n i gt a short nap. was supposed to meet angie at black ltr in d nite. woke up wif a hungry stimach went for OILY dinner n waited for his dad to cum back n his fren to come den we went together. in d end i din meet angie outside. met her inside cuz i was late. heez.. enjoyed myself though in a way or another.

sat dear gt duty so i oso guai guai at home cuz i came home at 5am in da morning, woke up realli late like 3pm. den din eat much so ended up eating onli dinner, sum nice fishball noodles tt i queued for so long... den went home b a couch potato n fell asleep.

o.. i woke up realli earli on a sun morn, 8 am.. went to market n visit my grandparenst at their fish stall... n ate a long awaited (1hr) minced prok noodles n traditional coffee *drooling. den went up to my grandparents house to offer joss-sticks to my great-grandma. went to meet dear viz train cuz if i lon-bang my parent's car i will nid to wait till 3pm.. so late den went dwn myself. relaxing sunday afternoon....
den went home on train *so surprising. haha... for like once in many many blue moons i travel home viz train frm his home. looking forward to class chalet on mon!!

woke up at one, bath n left home cuz nid to check in @ downtoan east at 230. excited over class chalet.. first time man. after checking in, we went to check out d rooms, dilly dailly for a while denw ent to swim. den went back played some card games n start preparing for d bbq. yum yumm.. food! but it's raining earlier in da evening so we bbq at d first storey of da chalet.. so heartwarming to c everyone worked together.. sum gt drinks, sum peel prawns, sum prepare food and sum cook! den shifted back to our pit after tt.. played game wif da watermelon... gt sticky n stuff, though seems weird eating d melon w/o hands but d fun is dere! den everyone got down to watch tv n took turns to bath den we played games.. of cuz wif alcohol....

diff ppl diff personalities after dey gt high n all those laughter that i was in.. was like d best ever i had wif d class.. n wiff all d chats n dares which is like totally scandalous, noti.... hmm jus hope it wun gt out of dat room.... wow.. many of us in fact all of us din realli slp. we chatted till daylight. den ate breakfast n went for home for short nap den went to robinsons sales wif my mujm... almost forgot abt tis date wif her... things dere r like real cheap but din c anything i like except for daily necessities.

went dbl o wif d gals.. long time i partied wif them. totally enjoyed myself except i got irritated wif sum ppl, their actions n words. took a nice long bath n went online. den read a bit of novel, msgs on hp den fell asleep while i was waiting my hair to dry n tt's like 6am. woke at 7am to call dear.. want to wake him bt in d end i din called him n whine about him nt callin me last nite den ya he wish me good nite n i wish him good morning. how ironic! den back to dreamland n got woken up by babysitter at 8. sumthing urgent crops up! n ya here i am still awake after 2 hours of sleep.

- posted by lydia @ Friday, April 30, 2004

Wednesday, April 21, 2004 Â Â Â Â Â

hmm.. long time since i blog i guess! exams round d corner n ah ha... it's gona end soon. stressed out sumhow i tink. tot of many things and issues whether while talking to frenz or thru personal experience.. n when i wan tink deeper... haha.. dere's so many different perspectives!

well... one good instance is little sacrifices that one can make outta love. well... such small sacrifices can be forgoing one's food that she craved to eat just bacaise that item may be sumone's else lunch. it can also be things like giving in n many more. the little acts that people around might just do for u out of love.. did u notice? well.. if u haven, observe again. i personally feel that people who did that deserve a pat on their shoulder for their efforts to loving their loved ones and putting others b4 themselves.

ever tot how great a mother is? i guess many out dere will say that ya mothers are da greatest and in each n everyone's eyes, i believe the most beautiful woman could be their mum! well.. me too. neva felt so deeply like tat for so long but recently da feeling jus come back. ya.. may be oso tat my mum is away nw, n i miss her i realli do.. i wonder hw is she. i know she is so worried about home.. c tt's motherly love alwiz bothering about da house n da family. she got me luckily to help look after the guys at hom... ensure that all is well. she will b back soon. i tink she will wana b back too! d feeling of being home is d best.

since i tok abt mother den y not continue let's tok abt parents in general. i neva knew tat my parents felt so lonely till lately. lucky tat they have each other if not can u imagine the loneliness???? oh gosh.. i can't imagine tat. when me n my bro were young my parents haf to bother about our studies and many many things, now tat we r grown up, we all gt our own activities tat we forget all abt them. lately maybe becuz of my great grandma, i beome even more aware of the loneliness tat people like my grandma, my beloved babysitter n even my preants feel. no one likes being lonely n when i look at them, at their eyes, when i c d loneliness i feel deeply. well... i duno how to describe bt i noe by making every effort to keeep them company will hopefully brighten up their day sumhow, i am sure it does.

parents do work very hard for our own good, to support d family n blah blah blah d list goes on, never-ending!!! well.. i guess dey deserve the respect. nw i c hw n y parents get so upset when they see their child becomes rebellious, rude and even asking them to "get lost". Personalli i feel that it is so unfair to them cuz many things that they do is outta luv and of cuz for our own's good sake. rather than reproaching them, ever tot of their intention? ever tot how much it hurts to tell them to get lost, is this wat they deserve after bringing u up? i tink they look forward to enjoy family love and warmth like other happy family. hw will u feel to c ur own parents in tears, anguish and watever, it hurts, realli heart apin to c them like tt. treat ur parents well, they deserve it n they do. everyone plays a role!

suddenly like alot of things gushed into my mind but before i start to tink n den in d end can't zzz.. i betta pen off here. will save all those things for other days!!

- posted by lydia @ Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Thursday, April 15, 2004 Â Â Â Â Â

sianz.... got ebiz quiz tmr cuz i miss it last week as i din go sch... no choice nid to take if nt i tink my ebiz gone case le. exams nex week... bin revising till quite late in school lately but hor... a bit of low productivity la.. can't seem to settle dwn leh.. strained all my poor brain cells to concentrate.

been tinking a lot.. about family, kinship, future n blah blah blah. well... feel tt if not i am still young n innocent..haha no nid to tink so much! but well.. ppl say even children have their problems.

well.. gt things to tok about but no time now.. other day k???? after exams...

- posted by lydia @ Thursday, April 15, 2004

Friday, April 09, 2004 Â Â Â Â Â

2dae is good friday... finally one day that i can rest after so many days of funeral and hmmm.. portfolio to be done after on wed. i admit i am super tired.. not onli i gt nt enuf slp but i tink i din eat as well.. so when i look at myself in the mirror i feel as if i am looking at a ger one size smaller than my usual self.. time to eat and fatten up.... but i am trying realli hard jus that lately i dun haf ani appetite.

ever wonder... whether a person when sad, grieving or watever so that leads to depression. that person aware or unaware will subconsciously not eat??? jus tinking abt tis tat day when i went to meet the gers for lunch tt day. as fer ppl whu eat too much becuz they r angry is classified as bao yin bao shi which means er... eating too much and drinking too much. haha... tinking my mind mus b hungry bt physically i dun feel so tt's y all i tink abt, dream abt is FOOD!!!!!! er... okie i tink i sound PIGGY.

- posted by lydia @ Friday, April 09, 2004

Monday, April 05, 2004 Â Â Â Â Â

getting old, sick n eventualli death is just part and parcel of life... now when ppl r more affluent watz d value of kinship dey r holding?

can ppl cry like the actresses do when d director says "Action!!".. sumtimes when ppl r shedding true tears u can feel.

life is short. hw many grudges can u bear, hw many revenges can u take? hw many ppl can u help n make their day? hw u lead ur life n whether u forgive n forget... it makes difference to others' life. for all grudges tt u bear, for all that u go out all to make tt person guilty esp if dey r old, wat do u gt in return?

ever tot hw u will feel when u r old or ever look at the aged n try to feel wat they feel? dey gt noone to confide in, noone to talk to. dey r jus so lonely. i'm guilty of not visiting my grandparents n babysitter often. pften u gt offended by their words but yet dey meant well. many bear grudes for yrs n wait for their turn to gt back at them. n when tis aged ppl feels unhappy, dey gt no one to confide in.. no one to listen. when dey r sick n can't leave d house to go to d doctor, d children n grandchildren brings d doctor to them. takes care of em, get worried for em. tt's wat i c.. in d older generation. their family ties is so thick.. d tears r real n it can make ppl cry too. wat abt our generation? will we feel tt way?

it dun feel gd when u c loved ones leaving u one by one... u will feel tt life's realli short n when u look around u. will u often ask urself wat haf i done to make tt person smile at least once? do i constantly make tat effort to care for tt person in putting d care into actions? ppl, treasure your loved ones, even if dey r old, naggy n watever u tink, dey meant well, dey loved at least for a moment..... when u lose em, u nv gt d chance to animore.. luv em rite from d heart.

- posted by lydia @ Monday, April 05, 2004