lydia's world...
Friday, February 23, 2007      
have u got the feeling of missing someone by your side? it is not just about feeling lonely.. it is the kind of emptiness in your heart.. the kind of feeling where u got someone to tell where u r n what u do for the day...missing the constant hugs and kisses.. i duno why ut i realli have this feeling..

it makes me feel lousy.. prob lousy is not exactly the word.. but a little sadness lingers in me.. but when someone trys to get near me i feel so controlled and i dun wanna lose the freedom i have so far. maybe the person whu can charm me is jus not here or prob will not be here..

i am sick.. took iron pills and it is not doing me any good.. i duno why.. i wanna get rid of the feeling of being sick... eeks.. i dun like being sick cuz i feel so heavy even though i am realli very thin..

do u noe sometimes it is sickening when you have ppl prying into your life.. and gossipping abt u..helo.. u gt whu u wan.. wat else u wan.. bitch... anyway i dun like ppl to pry into my life.. if u r not anyone to me, why shd i tell you my everything.. helo.. draw the bloody line... well jus ebar wif me i am jus frustrated over this fact.... what makes u think that i will say yes if you asked me to.. perhaps a lot of things we are simply not compatible.. i know you treat me well and everything but it is not all.. i dun feel anything at all.. got it.. how frank do u wan me to be.. i can be frank if i choose to. and i will esp to the ppl i tink i shd be..

*mood swing.. silly me.. jus feel like saying everything out.. so i did...

i duno why my mood is like tt.. stupid shit. cuz it left me in a bad mood...

i wan rest.. i haven got enuff rest.. i wan a break from every single shit to move on better.. cuz i i wanna be better.. n i shd isn't it...

memories... times we had together.. frens.. past relationships...a lot of things la.. loss for words.. i duno.. i wana cry, laugh, sing, dance.. haha

mama now addicted in mahjong.. wan to learn so much... den pull us to play with her.. but family now is more fun.. as usual la.. quarrels and fights are neverending.. but better now..

me i am better in a way n no better in another way.. but isn't tt life... i jus learn how to live life the way it is and be better...

Monday, February 12, 2007      
i nid to let it out... can't focus on work.. so restless.. cannot concentrate at all.. what's wrong with me...

sumone help...

Monday, February 05, 2007      
just got back from cofy with my frens.. prob one late night on a sunday for many weeks.. miss my frens.. bin realli busy..

but i still feel lonely.. i jus missed ed... well it is normal... jus miss the feeling of being in love more like it.. i miss him cuz i miss him a fren or somebody whu understands and know how i feel...

Ed: if you reads this, although i nv wanted to tell u in your face, but i am waiting for u to unblock me from msn. not anything but jus wanted everything back to normal.. if u noe where i come from.

went to hark music wif pearl last nite n sang there for the first time.. scary but real fun...

haha... sumtimes i ask my heart...

maybe it is jus the valentine's season...

hehe..gtg clean my room..

blog later!










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